Greetings friends of r/loseit, here's my story.
Let's start with some basics: Male – 6'0" – US/NY
Starting: 460 lbs Highest, 445 lbs since tracking – No Consistent Exercise, Lots of Sitting – 3-4k calories.
Currently: 366 lbs – No Consistent Exercise, Lots of Standing/Occasional Walks – 2-3k calories.
Goals: 233 lbs – Half Mile Run – 2k calories firm.
A few years ago, I started my weightloss journey on r/fitness, asking about etiquette on going to the gym.
Little did I know this would spurr something deep down inside that I couldn't shake, even in my darkest hours.
It's been a while, but finally, I have something worth posting about!
Previous Weight Pictures: https://imgur.com/a/Aawab
I wish I could say I had stuck with my healthy goals back then, but I couldn't.
I tumbled into a deep depression, as is typical for people with Bipolar Disorder, but I never lost hope.I continued to lurk, and learn, and slowly, got back on point.
After the initial thread, I had a good run of about 100 days of constant food logging, exercise, and all around positive body improvements, dropping somewhere in the neighborhood of 20 lbs. (IIRC)
However, everything came back and more over the years that followed.
I ballooned up to about 460 before I started having accountability for myself again, weighing myself on a scale + blood pressure machine at the local supermarket.
Year To Date weight logs: https://i.imgur.com/Stofuwn.png
It was embarrassing to be the guy that was so big he couldn't weigh himself at home, but it was also inspiring to know, deep down, I didn't actually care, no matter how much my mind screamed in opposition, it had to be done.
I could either die like this, or I could accept my situation, and persevere despite it.
I chose the latter.
It was around New Years that I started to care again, I heard an album that felt like it shook me awake, and for that, I'm thankful.
Around that same time, I was watching Boogie2988 ( u/uberwolf0 ) come to terms with his life, and it felt like my stars were finally aligning again. I could feel the paradigm shift take me, whether I liked it or not.
I had been filled with so much anger the year before, and been so low, that I knew this was probably the last chance I was going to get as I felt the changes start to take shape. I knew my time was growing short, and if I didn't get my life together soon, I'd never be ready to tackle adulthood, raise kids, or be a husband worth loving.
During my lowest points, I found solace in pursuing my passions for Live Streaming, building a repeatable daily schedule, and fostering a general positive attitude, despite the negativity of the world I had surrounded myself with.
I started off small, logging everything I ate, down to the (estimated) bite, and what I realised was, losing weight at this size was going to be easier than I expected, so long as I could quell my hunger.
Forcing myself to track what I ate meant I could no longer blindly punish myself with food, and gave me an understanding of what eating looked like on a biological level.
I started with small changes, opting first to cut all of my soda intake with half water to break my sugar crutch, as I knew those cravings, and invisible calories would be that hardest to tackle.
After about two months of that, I switched to diet soda, limiting myself to 2-litres a week. Then something weird happened…
I just stopped enjoying soda.At that point I was still craving a bubbly beverage, and alcohol was out of the question, so I experimented with Storebrand Sparkling Water. Because I sure as hell couldn't justify the cost of experimenting with that fancy Los Angeles Crox & Sox.
Around this time, I began experimenting with getting up in the mornings with my wife, cooking a hearty breakfast of eggs, bacon, and oatmeal every morning to start reprogramming my rituals, and my microbiome. Because I heard that was a thing?
As of now, I no longer am able to keep up with her schedule, however I did discover my prefered daily breakfast!
Instant Oatmeal: 1 Packet Powdered Peanut Butter: 2 TBSP Regular Peanut Butter: 2 TBSP Greek Yogurt: 5.3 oz
At around 500 calories, this holds me off until dinner depending on the day, while balancing my macros around 40/40/20, give or take a percentile or two.
Speaking of Dinners, I eat mostly whatever I like, but keep it within a 1,500 calorie max, opting to value protein and fiber over all else.
During the initial transition period, we started stocking fresh broccoli, pre-cooking chicken, and I began treating food like medicine, opting for better quality, more satiating foods. Though now, it's more about just keeping the calorie intake in check.
I experimented with Intermittent Fasting twice a week, but realised, aside from retraining myself what actual hunger feels like, I'd rather just eat smaller portions and learn to ignore it. Slowly I've begun to just stop being hungry.
In April I took my first run to see how it felt, and gauge where my endurance was, to the dismay of all of my family who wanted to make sure I didn't blow out my knees.It was worth it. That day I realised, I got this, even if it takes a lifetime.
Estimated Run Lengths
April: 423 lbs – 260 Feet ~ June: 405 lbs – 425 Feet ~ October: 366 lbs – 625 Feet ~
In June I bought a standing desk ( https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B071KGDGNK/ ) after it became apparent that my legs, and lower back were suffering greatly. (See: Perineural Cysts – Thankfully mine has almost completely deflated, without surgery – Also, thanks Twitch Viewers!)
I was sitting for 8-12 hours a day, and I was tired of it.
Here's us in May, before my standing desk: https://imgur.com/a/mUgAPNP
Here's us on July 4th after a month of standing 6-8 hours a day: https://imgur.com/a/dfS1sbW
This is when the changes really started to hit home, however, despite the progress…
To give you some perspective on the demons I've fought to get to this point, my last suicide attempt was July 3rd, 2018, which was mostly untriggered. It's soon enough to realise we're still not out of the woods yet mentally, but, we're alive, and despite my lowest point, I utilized that experience as a springboard to really self-evaluate what brought me to that lowest of lows. Also, lots of therapy.
It's a daily struggle, but it's a fight worth having. No one will ever be able to put me down as much as I put myself down, and that's somehow reassuring, as slowly overtime, that's a trait that is fixable.
My favorite countermeasure to this is the "Double Up" method, where if my mind goes negative, and starts putting myself down, I force myself to focus on two positive things that make up for the insecurities my mind parrots.
If you believe you can do it, it can be done.
Here's me yesterday, standing next to a local professional wrestler, "The Natural" Nick Sullivan.https://i.imgur.com/jz7e83S.jpg I still can't get over my face, and how handsome I look without my cheeks puffing out over my scraggly beard. Is it normal to fall in love with the way you're changing?
Here's another recent one, where you can totally tell my pants no longer fit me: https://imgur.com/a/phCAEy7
And finally, what you've all been waiting for my nudes: https://imgur.com/a/f0dkaqV It's so weird to feel how loose my skin is now…
Anyways, aside from the public display of patting myself on the back, I want to remind everyone here, no matter the struggle, don't give in.
Even if it takes years, don't stop living, don't stop trying.This is your one shot to make it, take it for all it's worth. Find your inspiration, no matter how mundane, and go!
Do Better, Try Harder, Make Your Future.
If you've got any questions, feel free to ask, there's plenty of nuances I didn't cover, but the TLDR is, Calories in, Calories Out, Reprogram your Microbiome with healthy fermentable fiber, standing more, and take the time to love yourself.
Life will always suck, but it's up to you to decide if you live in the suck, or grow beyond it.
Either way, GLHFDD!
Read more: reddit.com